The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

This past couple of weeks a Canadian film crew was on the South End to begin shooting the definitive documentary on Colton Harris Moore, aka the Barefoot Bandit and Amateur Aviator, and now our best shot at any claim to fame.  They’ve got producers and financial backers, they’ve got experience and equipment, they’ve got Rick Wood, our former cub reporter for the Stanwoodopolis Gazette lining up interviews and interpreting the native dialect for these Torontans.  They plan to tell the story, the whole story and nothing but the story, so help them God….
Today they dropped by my place: lights, camera, okay, not too much action, but I played a little banjo and regaled the neighborhood one more time with the Ballad of Colton Moore, the South End String Band’s bastardized version of Jesse James — another American youth memorialized in song and film, a role model for the next generation of kids who will look fondly back at crime that wasn’t cyber.  We live in an era already relegated to nostalgia, trust me.      I think the documentarians wanted the banjo in there but mostly they wanted that ‘Deliverance’ feel only an inbred South Ender can provide, six fingers and a simpleton grin, amiable as a jackass on PCP.  They came to the right place.  They found the right guy.
Not too long back Lance Black, the screenwriter of ‘Milk’ who won the Academy Award for it, was up with Bob Friel, the freelance writer from Orcas who’s  written the definitive book on Colton and who was in Bahama when our boy was apprehended.   These are serious people, principled people, unlike ourselves, and it was a real pleasure to drink whiskey with them and tell more than our usual lies.  Lance will be doing the Hollywood movie this year now that he’s done working with Clint Eastwood on the movie ‘Hoover’.   Bob will no doubt be a major consultant, edging me out of any imagined royalties.  Between them, this will be a serious and reflective film.
Which means it will probably be shot on location in Vancouver.  Well, Vancouver Island.  But let me be the first to alert the Chambers of Commerce on Camano and Stanwood.  Drive to Forks and check out Vampireville over there.  Down on the South End, we’re locked and loaded. Tyee Store has the tour buses ready.  Elger Bay Store has the Colton memorabilia priced and promoted.  The time is now to rename Camano ‘Colton Island’ and quit lollygagging around with Snow Goose festivals and Slow Food Roots Music.  Let’s speed it up, folks!  In fact, I recommend to all restaurants, hardware stores, clothing boutiques and assorted stripmalls on their way to sinking into the sewer lagoon — get Colton in that name.  Barefoot Burglar Burgers .  Colton Camera.  Colton Curios.  Okay, you get the idea…..  Gear up and sell out!  The kid is going to make you rich.  The recession is OVER!  Course, so is our pastoral, laid back lifestyle.  What?  You thought fame came cheap?

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 31st, 2011 at 4:02 pm and is filed under rantings and ravings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.