Retirement Strategies
The Salmon River, where we’re staying this week, is one of the only large rivers in America not dammed. It’s also the largest river that starts and ends in one state, this one being Idaho. From our cabin in a bend of the river we can see about a mile of it as it churns through this canyon with its steep walls on one side and green hills on the other. There’s an island across from us and more upstream, all slowly submerging as the Salmon rises about one foot a day. I figure at this rate we need to leave in three days and hope the only road out of here is navigable.
We’re the only renters. Fishing’s no good in these rapid muddy currents and cabins nearby are vacant too. The guy who rents these bought them yesterday, cash on the barrelhead, lodge, cabins, shop, tools, furniture, the whole she-bang from the previous owner who has Stage 4 cancer and is now in Mayo receiving daily chemo and radiation. The new owner tells me it’s human papillomavirus, an STD, caused from ‘eating too much pussy’, pardon my Idaho French, Bob says. His face and neck are swollen and if it hasn’t spread lower, he might have a small chance of survival. If it has, Bob tells me matter of factly, ‘he’s fucked.’
If this river rises a few more feet, someone else is fucked. My boy put every dollar he’d made in his 69 years on this resort, his 5th entrepreneurial venture in the outdoor hospitality industry, from Ohio to Illinois, Missouri to Oregon and now here, campgrounds, cabins, lodges, some seasonal, some year round. I assume he’s no neophyte. Still, he must be noticing the No Vacancy sign isn’t going to be turned on any time soon and the season is short up here at 4000 feet elevation.
He tells me he doesn’t care and I believe him — although I haven’t heard what his wife thinks. If I had to choose a spot to go slowly bankrupt in, this is better than most. Either way, I figure he’ll die rich.
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Tags: human papillomarivus, salmon river, std