No Flammables, No Fluids, No Wisecracks
I’m flying the friendly skies once more. For a yahoo who hates to fly, I sure seem to be doing a lot of it lately. Someday … probably sooner than later … historians will look back at jet travel the way we look back at big fin Cadillacs, giant carbon footprints. Political correctness will dictate that Frequent Flyers be denigrated for the culpability they share for turning the planet into a hellbroth of CO2 and acid rain. Meanwhile, I have to get to Utah.
Down here at South End International I’ve passed by the sniffer hound, a couple of TSA agents and managed to get through X-ray. X-ray is the government’s tactic to irradiate frequent flyers, thereby inducing various cancers and reducing multiple future flights. I’m sure there are already folks who believe this implicitly. Has the same result so I guess the government strategy works.
Security, even though I’m traveling more often, is amazingly fluid. We have now a TSA pre-check, which means somehow, probably random, the air passengers selected can keep their shoes on and dispense with fluid checks and various other scrutinizing. Apparently the traveling terrorist will not receive a TSA pre-check. I’m sure there’s a mathematical calculation on probability PhD’s have worked out on government super computers.
Today I took my shoes off but kept my belt buckled. The lady in front of me could leave her laptop in her bag. Last time she had to take it out. But she had to take her belt off. My pocket debris had to be stowed in my pack — no plastic tray in my line. Sometimes my handkerchief has to be taken out of my pocket, sometimes not. A recent test of TSA security found that knives, guns and explosives hidden to check the agents’ effectiveness, went through about 90% of the time, meaning, I suppose, terrorists would be thwarted in at least 10% of terror attempts. Statistics don’t lie, mister!
What I deduce from this is that if they would succeed 90% of the time, there must not be much terrorism being attempted. After all, why risk it if there’s a 10% chance of failure? I wanted to run that by a couple of this morning’s agents … but, I do want to get to Utah this week sometime. I might slip a gun through, no way I’m sliding a wisecrack by ….
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