Tyee Auto Sales
You wait long enough, everything comes full circle. When I first got off the boat at the Mabana Wharf, the Snowdens ran the Tyee Store. The store was part gas station, park wrecking truck tow services, well drilling, groceries, beer and wine, a garage and a two acre junkyard out back next to the trout pond. They didn’t have what you needed, you probably didn’t really need it. And if they did have it, well, you can bet it cost a little more.
Being a tow service, they ended up with a lot of the vehicles they dragged into the back field. When the towee failed to pay the tow-ers, the cars or trucks became Tyee property. Mostly they settled into the mud and grass. But if you needed, say, a Chevy 350 engine block or a Ford transmission, well sir, you were welcome to haul your tools out into the swamp and dismantle what you needed. And occasionally you could negotiate for the whole rig.
The store’s gone now, the salvage yard has been pretty much cleaned out and hauled away, the garage is an art gallery and the pond is probably more toxic from leaching heavy metals and battery acids than most lakes in Russia other than the ones they dumped nuclear subs into.
But … Honest Al Yankafist has opened up the Tyee Auto Emporium. Your half ton craps out down by the Diner, you can be driving into town with a fine pre-owned rig from Honest Al’s lot. Al doesn’t deal in high end or late model. You won’t get a used Prius or a low mileage Hyundai. You’ll get something pretty close to what died in the Diner parking lot. Down on the South End we don’t expect a divorce to yield a nubile underwear model for our next marriage and we aren’t figuring on a BMW in exchange for that rustbucket Nissan with the missing front quarter panel and the busted out taillights the deputies kept citing us for. We might play the Lottery, but we’re not Total Fools. You want a nice ride, you need a decent job. We’ve learned to accept the necessary compromises.
Al has a slogan for all of us: My handshake is my word. That’s why he calls himself Honest Al. Al, who you only need to know for 15 minutes, is neither honest nor much of a handshaker. He’s a car salesman. But even if he was honest, what would you expect? He gonna tell you the car you’re buying, the one with 250,000 miles and the blown suspension, its muffler full of holes and the speedometer that doesn’t work anymore, with the two bald tires and the missing rearview mirror, it’s going to be your last car, the vehicular love of your life?
Naw, he’s selling you your next automotive tragedy. If life is good and the gods are smiling, you’ll buy your next one at the lot in town or from a private seller who’s slightly more honest than Honest Al. If he isn’t, well, Tyee Auto Emporium will have a lot of your neighbors’ cast-offs to choose from. WITH a warranty that Al intones as the cash leaves your hand —“good until I see your tail lights leaving the lot.”
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