Identify as a Non Human?

 

Thank God for North Dakota!  Out there in the prairie state they have a little more time on their hands for deliberations on who can attend their schools than the rest of the country.  While they were declaring that no schools in their state could accommodate the needs of transgenders, they took the time to consider whether non-human students were welcome, those kids who identified with other species.  No doubt they were concerned that the litter box controversy sweeping the other 49 states would descend on theirs.

I get it, I really do.  Taxpayers are fed up with their money being spent on kitty litter.  And once that threshold is passed, what will the non-human demands be next?  Cat food lunches, kibble treats at recess?  Obligatory dog walks?  Leash laws rescinded?  No sir, the North Dakota legislature will not stand for it!  You want to be a cat, stay home.  Who needs a pack of meowing kids disrupting their classrooms.  New York might be so completely woke it would accommodate that, but out there in the windswept Rough Rider state, not gonna happen! Not if these legislators have their way.

And while they’re at it, how about M&M’s, those woke little rascals that are driving Tucker Carlson crazy.  Thank god too for Tucker Carlson, the Paul Revere of the anti-woke brigade.  No M&M’s should be allowed in any North Dakota classroom!

Down wind from Dakota the Missouri legislature passed a dress code for its female members, requiring them finally to cover up their shoulders.  Apparently the menfolk were distracted beyond reason by the sight of bare skin above the breastline and a need for decorum pushed the new rule to passage by a vote of 105-51.  Now, finally, the legislature can do the people’s work without being sexually stimulated.  Call it a win for good government.

Out there in the hinterlands the unwoke are finally addressing the pressing issues of their citizenry.  Hopefully other states will follow suit.  Before cat people take over our schools and women with bare shoulders are emboldened to take nudity to another, more dangerous, level.

 

 

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