Ukraine, Ukelele, U Betcha
Now that Covid is squarely in the rear view mirror for most of us (maybe for half it’s always been there) we can turn our sequestered attentions to more important matters than mask mandates and booster vaccinations, only a million of us died these past couple of years, time to move on. And no, I’m not talking about commie teachers propagandizing that racism still exists or gays should have equal rights anymore or if Roe v Wade is going to be relegated to a Supreme Court waste basket. I’m talking about Ukraine, that country most of us couldn’t find on a map that Vlad Putin has been attempting to redraw for a decade now.
Oh, I know a sizeable percentage of us couldn’t identify the United States on a world map, but let’s not go all tangential on our educational system, we’ll have plenty of time for that in the midterm elections. Ukraine, stick with me here. You remember Chernobyl, maybe saw the Netflix series, well, it’s in Ukraine. Or maybe you vaguely remember the last impeachment trial, all about quid pro quos, military aid in exchange for finding dirt on Biden’s kid? No? Well, once again, that was Ukraine, the place where Vlad had already annexed Crimea, said Khruschev had gifted them that country when he maybe was drunk on vodka but now he wanted it back. Khruschev, remember? Okay, never mind, it was a long time ago. Back when Russia was part of the Soviet Union. Yeah, they’re different.
We had a Cold War, see, Iron Curtain. Ring any bells? When the Soviet Union collapsed, all those countries Russia had snapped up after World War Two — and I know you’ve heard of World War Two, the Good War? — well, Russian let them go. Too much work maybe, too many languages, too much trouble. But Putin thinks this was the biggest mistake in history and apparently he would like to return Russia to its glory days, you know, before the country became a kleptocracy and a poster child for corruption. They were communists back then, like the Fox News folks think teachers are now here in Amerika, but once again, let’s leave that for later. And we hated communists. We hated Russia. Bad, very bad. Us, good, very good. Those were simpler days, my friends.
Now things are complicated. Our President-in-Exile thinks Putin is good. A genius, in fact. And the right wing media echoes that sentiment. I don’t know, maybe they think we should annex Canada, smart move, genius move in fact. Mexico? Well, we got all the drugs we need without the cartels in our downtowns. But … I was talking about Ukraine, wasn’t I? I can see this is possibly too byzantine. And anyway, what’s it got to do with us?
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Tags: Covid Schmovid, History Amnesia, New Anxieties