The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

I love Texas as much as the next yahoo. They want to tighten up their voting laws, build walls on the border, maybe even secede from the Union. Ted Cruz is their Senator and if there’s anyone I’d like to see more than Ted seceding from the country, I can only think of one or two. Texas, the state that celebrates the Alamo. Sort of like Montana celebrating Custer’s Last Stand.

Rep. Louis Gohmert recently asked the deputy chief of the Forest Service if she could think of some way, since she was interested in global warming mitigation, to alter the orbit of the moon. I know what you’re thinking, must be some phony baloney news story put out by those pesky liberals to make another Texas legislator look like a complete moron. Even for Texas, a state I dearly love, this is a synapse too far. Only a braindead Qanon whackjob would entertain for even one Dallas minute the idiotic notion that the Forest Service could manage to nudge the moon out of earth orbit just enough to slow down global warming. Not even a Texan legislator, even one who thinks the assault on the Capitol in January was nothing more than over exuberant tourists, would ask Smokey the Bear to figure out a way to spin the moon. He’d ask NASA or the Army Corps of Engineers, but c’mon, Smokey? He’s a bear, Louis. A dead bear actually. I visited his grave a couple years back. No way is that dead bear going to figure out a way to snap the gravitational pull of the earth and save the planet.

Louis, of course, probably doesn’t think Smokey can stop global warming. Louis doesn’t believe global warming is real. Or that there was an insurrection at the Capitol where he was escorted to shelter in a panic on January 6th. He may not even believe the moon orbits the earth and if he does, he probably thinks it orbits Texas, a state, maybe I mentioned this already, I dearly love. All I can figure, the Lone Star state must have something in its water, all these strange legislators with quirky ideas. Fracking oil maybe or pesticides in the Ogallala Aquifer that’s concentrating the toxins. We could maybe have Smokey look into that too.

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This entry was posted on Friday, June 18th, 2021 at 2:32 pm and is filed under rantings and ravings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.