Wedgie Issues
When you run out of good ideas, I guess it’s time to throw rocks. The No to Everything Party ran out of ideas long before Donald J. Trump emerged from the swamps of reality TV. No to Obamacare, no to same sex marriage, no to women in the military, no to abortion, no to Planned Parenthood, no to progressive taxation, no to election reform, no no no, by god, NO! Mitch McConnell put up roadblocks for decades, first with Obama, then preventing the Mueller investigation from leading to impeachment, then again after Trump instigated the assault on the Capitol, now with obstruction of anything Biden might try to slide by him.
Now we’re going to see some rock throwing and mudslinging. Bipartisanship on this infrastructure bill? Who’s kidding who? When you see every GOP senator vote down every bill that comes before them, I ask you, who’s kidding whom? Not me. So what is an idea-less party to do if they’ve abandoned all pretense of policy? Wedgies! Wedge issues. Guns, they’re taking our guns! Statues, they’re saying Stonewall Jackson wasn’t a hero! Black Lives Matter, they’re trying to start a race war! Abortion, they’re murdering babies! Corporate tax increases, they’re torturing the rich! Immigration, they’re flooding the country with non-whites! Transgenders, boys will be in the girls’ lockerroom! Global warming, they want to take away your gas powered Cadillac! Religion, they’re waging war on Jesus!
Socialists, pedophiles, commies, libtards, revisionists, Moslems, they’re all coming to take away your Bible, your guns, your money, your Confederate heroes, your freedom! They’re evil! They’re part of a satanic cabal that does unspeakable things to your children. Then … oh my god … then they eat them! They have to be stopped. At any cost! Donald Trump couldn’t stop them. At least not yet. Mitch McConnell couldn’t stop them, not really. Revelations is at hand, Armageddon is on the calendar, the End Days are nigh, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are riding toward Bethlehem.
I don’t know about Armageddon, but I do know the Crazy Times are upon us. The population of America, fed on the pablum of social media and not very reality TV, open to every crackpot conspiracy theory you can think up and splatter on websites across the internet the gullible soak up like addicts, well, maybe it’s time to put lithium in the municipal water system. Or, wait! Maybe that’s what the Deep State has been doing all along!
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Tags: Democracy on the Ropes, GOP Food Fight, McConnell Obstructionism, Party of No