New Symptoms of the Covid Positive
Scientists down here at the nationally renowned E-Coli Institute, a South End lab and headquarters for research in viral diseases, recently discovered a new symptom for those infected with Covid-19. Besides loss of taste and smell, researchers found that 90% of new cases of positive coronavirus reported loss of humor. ‘Not surprising,’ claimed Dr. Laffsky, famed virologist from the Mabana Center of Immunology, ‘given the recent election with not one but two winners for the office of President of the United States.’
Obviously Doc Laffsky wasn’t suffering himself from the virus. But the findings point up a problem with the Institute’s etiology. Is loss of humor a symptom of the plague or is it more a corollary symptom of the political pandemic we’ve been experiencing for years, prior even to the outbreak of Covid. Could it be that political stress has weakened our immune systems to the degree that the coronavirus had easy access to our population. When asked, Dr. Laffsky considered the notion. ‘That would be like saying Donald Trump is an auto-immune disease on the body politic. It would be unheard of. A first in the history of viral epidemiology. If it were true, and I’m not saying it is, it would be a breakthrough in medicine the equivalent of Louis Pasteur’s discoveries.’
The good doctor paused in our interview, jotted down some quick notes and said it could essentially be Nobel prize-worthy before hurrying to his laboratory to make a call he said he’d forgotten. ‘But what about the loss of humor?’ this reporter yelled to him as he retreated down the antiseptic halls of the Institute.
‘Knock knock,’ Doc Laffsky called back. ‘Who’s there?’ I replied, playing his game. ‘Funny bone,’ he said, turning the corner out of sight. I thought I heard him, but barely, answer himself, ‘Funny bone you should ask.’
I decided then and there to get myself tested as soon as possible.
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Tags: Covid Test, Funny Bone Immunology, New Covid Symptoms