George Washington Captures the British Airports!

I guess if you’re the kind of person who never reads, you can be forgiven if you muddy up your facts occasionally. Or always. Ignorance, after all, is bliss. But maybe when you take the stage to a national audience on Independence Day in a salute to the armed forces and especially their Commander-in-Chief, you might want to have the staff do a little fact-checking. That, or just order the Department of Education to go back and rewrite those faux fact history books. If you live by the teleprompter — and especially if you mock those who use one — and the rain blurs your speech, you die by the teleprompter. Or if you’re Donald J. Trump of the very big brain, the man who skipped Viet Nam with a bone spur strategy backed by buy-outs, you go Impromptu, arrogantly plunging into the Void full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes. Saturday Night Live, you ought to be paying this guy a writer’s salary and laying off half your staff.

Here, then is some Presidential History, Mr. Peabody on Rocky and Bullwinkle couldn’t have said it better. George Washington, man, that guy, according to this fractured fairy tale, was certainly ahead of his time. He crossed the Potomac AND the time barrier, captured the British airports and won the Revolutionary War. Why they called it Revolutionary, I’m guessing, anybody has the vision to commandeer future airports. Probably sunk a few English subs too. And maybe shot down their drones. The man, like Trump said, was a hero. An American Hero. You don’t see British airports here anymore, do you? And those lunar landing bases, uh-uh, wiped out in a surprise assault. No wonder the Commander-in-Chief decries faux news! Today’s media look like a 3rd grade journalism class compared to what Donald can spin out.

For those who forget history, well, they’re doomed to repeat it. For those who never knew it to begin with, okay, just about anything’s possible. Turn off the teleprompter and let er rip. History, after all, is written by the winners and let’s be honest here, Donald Trump won that last election. At least that’s what he says….

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