Biblical War

Rep. Matt Shea, a state legislator in the Spokane Valley, has been putting out a pamphlet citing Biblical passages to promote war and violence. His ‘Biblical Basis for War’ is a four page guide to waging holy war against those who refuse to obey Biblical Law. Now, I’m an eye for an eye kind of guy most of the time, but this is maybe a little more, I don’t know, close to what the good Representative for the Inland Empire might accuse the Muslims of doing if they could impose Sharia Law.

You have an abortion, you change gender, you marry someone of the same sex, well, you’re guilty of violating Biblical Law and should be punished. And, to quote from Matt’s text, ‘if they do not yield, kill all males.’ Kinda harsh, Matt, but pretty clear. Maybe stone them. Or behead them. Whatever you like but send a message to all the liberals and scofflaws, you ignore the Bible, buddy, you get what you deserve, death delivered by the righteous!!

Death to the gays, death to the woman who has an abortion, death to the folks who get a sex change, death to the unyielders, boy, howdy, that’s a lot of executions. And if you start throwing in death because you eat pork, death if you commit adultery, death if you steal, death if you worship false gods, holy prayer meeting, Matt, who’s gonna be left to vote for you?

These are strange times in the Holy Land, no doubt about it. Probably smart to get your hands on a Bible and read it, maybe take some serious notes if you want to avoid the Wrath of Matt. Over in Pakistan the True Believers are up in arms over some Christian woman who blasphemed the Prophet. She’s been on death row for years, but the Courts there said she was free to go. Not so fast, Sister, the Muslim Mattsters cried and poured out into the streets of Islamabad by the thousands, blocking her exit out of that less than tolerant country. Now the Supreme Court says they’ll review the verdict to avoid a political crisis. Seems to me we could defuse this fairly easy. Trade the woman for Matt. They’d both be happier in the other country.

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2 Responses to “Biblical War”

  1. Rick Says:

    What about Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness?
    Is that commandment included in Rep Matt Shea’s guide to those who won’t obey Biblical Law? Personally, I think that might be as good a place to start as any.

  2. skeeter Says:

    I think we can assume Rev. Matt knows this is one of those commandments that demand swift and terrible punishment. That, I am certain, is an excellent place to start. If he won’t yield, he is, after all, a male. Kill him. But wait … doesn’t Biblical Law have something to say about not killing?

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