The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Maybe you’ve already heard about the company that you can hire to call airlines, airbnb’s, car rental companies, insurance firms or just about any corporation that has a customer so-called service which will put you on hold until you’re ready for assisted living.  The corporations where you just give up and go away.  Now you can let white privileged women do your complaining, pitbulls of the grievance, gals who refuse to take no for an answer from some garbled English speaker in a call site somewhere in Mumbai, relentless pursuers of refunds who will out-wait the delay tactics of even the most recalcitrant of cable TV providers.  Patience is not their virtue.  They want to speak to your supervisor and they want to speak to him right now! Or else!

For a small fee you can put these attack dogs onto whatever dirtbag company refuses to make good on their overcharge, their no refund policy, their hidden fees, their whatevers.  They’re willing to wait on hold for hours listening to mind stultifying elevator music and the every 30 second message that their operators are currently busy but your call is important to them so please stay on the line.  You have a life to live and holding for hours isn’t part of that plan.  But Karen doesn’t mind.  Karen will wait until Armageddon.  She’ll wait two days after Armageddon if that’s what it takes.  Karen is relentless and privileged and white and channels your anger and outrage at being manipulated by uncaring corporate greedheads who will wish they’d never answered a customer service call with her chewing her way past supervisor after supervisor until she finally, inevitably, reaches some vice president of god only knows what who figures whatever this woman wants is far less valuable than the time he has to spend holding his phone a foot away from his ear.

If I were a customer service V.P. for Southwest Airlines right now, I’d be sweating bullets.  Capitulate now, buddy!  Karen is going to eat you for breakfast.

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