The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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Tea Party Ted moved away from what he called the Socialist Union of the South End back when that commie Obama was elected President of the still United States. He and his angry wife packed up kit and kaboodle and moved to Scottsdale, Arizona where the weather and the politics were more to their liking. Some of the scalawags in the Flatheads, our vintage car guyz, still get virulent e-mails from Ted, sometimes ten a day, that they’re kind enough to forward to the Enemy. That would be me.

I’m not sure whether they think I’m some Fence Sitter that can still be swayed to the Trump Camp before the gulags are instituted by some imagined regime that will ‘cleanse’ the South End’s radical heresy or if they just find Ted’s wild e-mails amusing in a whackjob sort of way. Amusing is not how I receive them, but then again, I don’t discourage my pals from passing on posts from the alt-right.

It’s important — or so I tell myself — to keep a finger on the pulse of these fire breathers in order to understand what makes them so damn angry. Ted was a government employee at the top of the pay grade system. Meaning, he gets a near six figure a year pension and total medical coverage, what us South Enders refer to as Made in the Shade. He doesn’t like government, he wants Obamacare killed, he hates the welfare system, food stamps and Medicaid for the poor. Taxes are theft, people who disagree with him are elitist boobs, the Federal Reserve is a plot to kill capitalism and white genocide is ramping up.

I won’t even mention his opinions on immigration, minorities, women, gays and transgenders. He’s a white guy. An old white guy. And it pisses him to the gills that his white Caucasian nation is morphing into a polyglot melting pot mess of people not much like himself, people who are inferior, potential terrorists, job stealers and poor. He wants these others gone. He wants his country back. He wants to make America great again.

All I know for sure is he helped make the South End, if not great, one small step better. By leaving. Arizona, you’re welcome to Ted. And his mizzus. And all the other Teds on his e-mail list. You know, except my buddies and me. And Ted, keep those cards and letters coming in. Maybe some more folks will come down and join you.

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