The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

I am not a crook. Course he was. I never had sex with that girl. Course he did. I never asked for a quid pro quo from that Ukrainian president. Actually, yes, right there on the phone transcripts. We are not partisan hacks. Okay, then why make a speech introduced by Mitch McConnell at the McConnell Center in Louisville, Kentucky? Same partisan hack who kept Obama from filling an empty Supreme Court vacancy, that McConnell.

Somehow, methinks she doth protest too much. The Supremes, she cites as evidence for convincing us they’re not political hacks, have underlying judicial philosophies. Ah, bet you forgot that, didn’t you? They’re not ruling about abortion from some religious, partisan bias, they’re working under Originalism. Can’t find it in the Constitution, can’t okay it in 2021. The Framers wanted to keep the country in eternal stasis. Wise men, these Framers. Far seeing visionaries.

Gimme a break, Amy. Donald J. Trump didn’t ram your nomination through in record time because he thought you were a fair and impartial judge, he ran you through because your name was on the approved list of nominees handed to him by the Heritage Foundation, a think tank only slightly left of the Proud Boys. The sheer fact that you made your public denial of judicial bias right after letting the Texas anti-abortion bill take effect, well, c’mon, your Honor, you didn’t notice Mitch smiling that turtle smirk from Louisville to Houston? Maybe you didn’t read the part in the Constitution that mentions a sitting President making nominations for your job. Before your time, I know.

So I guess we’re in good hands with you and Clarence and the rest of the gang, no hidden biases there, just thorough and impartial reading of a few centuries old document, interpreted by … Wait, not interpreted, really, just scrutinized factually. Channeling old Tom Jefferson. Partisan hackery? Ask Amy Phoney Barrett, she’s got the original news.

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