The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

The State of Washington just put out a call for interested owners of beachfront properties to take possession of the many dead grey whales that are washing up on shore this year, 70 or so to date. After hauling a couple onto Island County beaches, apparently they’ve run out of DNR land to dump the carcasses so they’re turning to us private citizens to accept the blubbered beasts. I know if I had a bit of shoreline to spare, first thing I’d want is a decaying whale about 40 feet long weighing tons of rotting fat. If you’ve ever been near one going to goo, you might think twice about letting the State haul one up to your beach home.

Course, if you maybe don’t live at your beach home and maybe if you got a few neighbors you don’t like much, then a dead whale for a high tide monument would send a serious message. Might even draw a few lawsuits from the adjacent property owners and forced removal of the seaside attraction, not, I suspect, a cheap solution. You adopt a rotting seal or sea lion or, god help you, a whale, trust me, you will live to regret it. Forty years ago a sea lion washed up down at our beach. First couple of days, me and my dog Dr. Gonzo studied the dead mammal out of idle curiosity, never having been that close to a sea lion back in Wisconsin where we had emigrated from.

But about the third day in the summer sun the smell became unbearable. Gonzo would wade out into the Sound to avoid getting anywhere near it and by the fourth of fifth day we decided to walk in the woods, just forget about gagging our way past the corpse oozing down on the beach. It is not something you want on your beach or just down the beach or maybe even within a quarter mile if the wind is blowing your way.

It’s good of the State to ask for volunteers to take these deceased cetaceans off their hands. Might even set an example for good citizenry. If it works, maybe we can ask folks with a little acreage if they would consider accepting garbage and save us hauling it to the overflowing landfills. A little here, a little there, spread it around, not pile it all up in one place. I know me and the mizzus could take a little back in the woods. We’re as patriotic as the next South Ender.

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