The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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It’s No Worse Than the Bubonic Plague

Fresh off his victory over Covid the Terrible in last week’s Virus Prime Time Smackdown sponsored by major pharmaceutical companies, the President declared there was nothing to fear but Democrat’s fear itself. He himself was healthier than he had been 20 years ago. Not many 70 year olds can say that and certainly none of those who have fought the coronavirus from an ICU ward in Walter Reed hospital. The man is invulnerable as Superman, immune to everything but kryptonite and subpoenas for his tax returns.

Lest his loyal followers thought he was in serious trouble, pinned to the mat for a day or two with a respirator offering him additional oxygen, he returned to his heavy workload at the West Wing, but not before a victory lap in his black SUV armored against gunfire and sealed against gas attack. Sealed too against Covid virus escaping the vehicle, a small detail the Secret Service agents escorting him on his triumphant drive probably tried not to think too long on. They would take a bullet for their boss, no doubt, but the job description may have neglected details like inhalation of his disease. Loyalty may come at a high price, but that’s the job, fellas.

The man emerged from his isolation ward with renewed vigor, frisky as a teenager, tweeting with enhanced intellect. Dr. Trump declared the Covid was a piece of cake, less risky than the flu, nothing to be afraid of and certainly nothing those around him, contagious as he still is, should fear. An aura of invincibility, an invisible shield, will protect them, such is the impenetrability of his Cone of Immunity. Add to that his surging bloodstream loaded with steroids, you have a nearly unstoppable human being.

The Covid, he said, was a gift from God, maybe the best thing that ever happened to him. Between you and me, I think he loves that steroid high. Welcome to the ‘60’s, Donny. Turn on, tune in.

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So much for the disease that was a hoax. So much for mocking those who wear a mask. So much for that ‘cure’ the President took himself. So much for the disease that would disappear, the one that the Chinese cooked up. Those happy days are gone. Trump is officially the latest statistic.

I know none of you wish our man in the high tower ill. Or his loving wife. We’re not partisan rabid animals, after all, hoping for tragedy to befall our beloved President. But speaking for myself, I was happy he caught the Covid. If anyone deserved a dose, this was the guy, the one who knew how bad the pandemic would be back in winter but decided not to panic the populace. The one who said behind closed doors this virus outbreak would be fine since he wouldn’t have to shake peoples’ hands any longer. The heartless character who wanted to go back to normal and if that meant sacrificing a few folks, so be it, the economy needed saving too. The happy warrior that claimed no one had come down with coronavirus at one of his maskless rallies. That guy.

Of course this could just be more fake news. An April Fool’s joke in October. Just kidding, folks, the Donald might tweet today, Gotcha! His doctor might roll out on Fox and Friends to say his patient was doing just fine, nobody on Planet Earth could beat a virus like his boy could beat a virus. Nobody. The man is a rock. Healthiest president ever! He could armwrestle Teddy Roosevelt to a whimpering cry of Uncle. We shouldn’t worry that the man is old or obese, risk factors for others, not for Dynamo Donald. He’s up in his room watching Fox, eating burgers, swilling diet pop. He’s fine, worry about the virus.

Better yet, or worse, worry about the folks he exposed the past few days. Sleepy Joe was quite a distance away behind his podium, but hellfire, a constant stream of projectile insults were spewing in wave after wave of covid tsunami. Pity the folks in meetings, pre-rally gatherings, staff, reporters from Breitbart. Better get tested, folks. The hoax is real. The joke’s on you. Now, just maybe, you’ll see we’re all in this together. Denial is no longer immunity.

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