The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Right on the heels of the ex-President’s high end sneaker offerings, he’s followed up that sales pitch with the USA Bible, the King Donald version, asking price a mere $60. I suspect it doesn’t have all ten commandments, maybe not even half of the originals. And if you thought maybe it would have pictures featuring porn stars and ex-wives to jumpstart sales, you’d be disappointed. Somehow — and forgive my cynicism — I just don’t see this Pres-in-Exile as a Bible hawker. Sure, there are evangelicals who subscribe to the idea that he’s the Orange Jesus, the latest Savior, the Sneaker Salesman sent by God to fix the sins of America and smite his enemies. Maybe they’ll buy that Bible.

There have been Trump vodkas, Trump perfumes, Trump Universities, Trump steaks — the man is worth billions but he’ll stoop to making a few extra bucks on about anything. Maybe this is how you get rich in America. I sure didn’t so maybe I’m just jealous. But c’mon, Bibles? Sneakers? I’ll say this, our country will vote in about anybody. Movie stars, reality TV hosts, racists, serial liars. George Santos says he’s going to run as an Independent in New Yawk after the House booted him out as the consummate con artist. I guess that’s what democracy is, the inalienable right to vote the Ignorant ticket.

Our cities are filling up with tents for the homeless, poverty is pandemic, there are still way too many people without health insurance, the planet is sizzling, there are wars in Gaza and Ukraine, you bet folks are looking for someone, anyone, to come to the rescue. Maybe the answer is the Trump Bible. Maybe we should buy those sneakers.

My own advice is this: buy the Trump Vodka, mix a tall one and pray this year passes quickly. It’s looking like a long strange trip….

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