The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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So I got a buddy who’s building himself a house. In a tree up 14 feet off the ground. He’s doing it the South End Way, skipping the permits and just grabbing a hammer. A treehouse, in case the last one you built was when you were a kid, is a little more complicated than nailing a couple of 2×4’s to a fir tree and its neighbors. You need to factor in 80 mph winds lashing those firs, racking the structure and breaking windows. Treehouses need to be engineered, in other words, not slapped up. They require forethought, not foreskin.

Treehouse Terry was a contractor so he went into this eyes open, did his homework and bought these specialized gizmos that get drilled into the firs and hold the joists out away from the tree which lets the house ride a few inches in the winds and still hold about 25 tons of structure. Terry left one fir to grow through the bathroom floor and ceiling — which should be interesting in two or three years when it starts widening the holes. Firs in these parts grow a few inches in diameter a year. I guess Terry figures it’ll just seal the hole nicely with bark instead of caulk.

The other day I stopped by. I used to like to put my county STOP WORK order up just to put the fear of government into my pals, but these days I worry they’ll do something rash when they think the building inspector has discovered them and shut them down. Sure wouldn’t want Terry calling the county to straighten matters out. If he were required to get a permit on a treehouse 14 feet off terra firma, he’d be looking at a bureaucratic fishline knot he’d never extricate himself from Plus thousands of dollars for structural engineering, probably for naught. The county isn’t good with thinking out of the box … much less up in the air.

Instead I brought him a favorite stained glass window, figuring, I guess, I’ve never installed an artwork in a treehouse and I might never get another chance. So I snuck it up to his aerie and propped it into a window opening for him to find. Climbing back down the ladder, I noticed his truck’s bumper sticker: TRUMP! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

I know, I considered taking my window home. Instead, I just left a small note: ART! TRUMPING TRUMP! If nothing else, he’ll be installing a small protest.

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