The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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Jeez, no sooner than the British start the process to exit the EU, those sneaky Spaniards make a claim for getting back Gibraltar. Brexit is a more slippery slope than the Brits thought, but if Spain thinks it’s going to annex the Big Rock without a fight, they’ve forgotten the Falklands. And the Falklands, with their herds of sheep thousands of miles from the English shore, well, they’re not the Rock of Gibraltar, trust me.

Here on the breakaway nation of the once 13 colonies, we’re starting our own withdrawal from globalism. Maybe we should worry a little about Hawaii and Alaska. The Russians feel pretty gypped by Seward’s little folly back 150 years ago and Pele, the volcano god, might feel the same. And let’s not even mention Puerto Rico and Guantanamo.

But that brings us to Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, all those territories we took after John Wayne lost the Alamo. Mexico would be crazy not to make a grab; after all, they’ve been slowly invading for decades, pretending to work low paying jobs without even getting social security, just biding their time until the day America, trying to be great again, shrinks its borders. With a president who understands the art of the deal, maybe the time is ripe for a fast negotiation, see what we can get for the Lone Star state since they want to secede anyway. Maybe trade for Cancun with Baja thrown in for good measure. We could easily toss in Arizona for good measure, let Sheriff Joe fight the cartels on their own turf, see how tough he really is.

Down here on the South End I’m licking my chops. Might be the exact right time to make a play for the northern section of the island, save us going the Kim Jong-un route and developing nuclear stockpiles. A peaceful resolution seems a lot more likely now that American expansionism has come to a crashing end judging by the Trump Doctrine: Talk loud and carry a small stick. Maybe my neighbors to the north will see the logic and economics finally in reunification. If not, well, let’s not start saber rattling just yet. Down here we still believe in peaceful negotiation.

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