The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Neighbor, do you wake up mornings, look out your window over a cup of your favorite roasted coffee and discover the suburb you left behind two short years ago has followed you here to Paradise? Does it seem like four of your next door neighbors are saluting you with their Starbuck’s coffee? At night does it look like the sky is glowing an eerie electronic blue from 17 TV’s flickering out every living room window? During the day does it seem like every retiree from here to Elger Bay is mowing his weed and feed lawn on a precision close-order drill of riding John Deeres? Do you find yourself daydreaming of a place in the country where you’re the only lucky fella in the subdivision? Friend, stop thinking the grass is gonna be greener somewhere else… You know the chemical fertilizers aren’t any more effective there.

What you need is our newly patented, completely remodeled South End Insta-Foto Fence. Installs in just minutes with household tools! The Insta-Foto Fence not only repels stray dogs and unwanted neighbor kids, the life-like realistic scenes of rural retirement will lull you back into a reverie of country contemplation.

Lay back in your reclino-lounger with your favorite adult beverage and view scenes of rural bliss. We offer a full catalogue of bucolic photo options. Maybe you want an ocean vista, waves gently rolling on to your immaculate yard. Order ‘Sleepy Shores #17’. If Pastoral Paradise (#3) is more to your taste, a panorama of cattle grazing by far off trees on a gently undulating hillside will make you want put a straw in your mouth and a lemonade on the side table. Maybe the long monsoon months of interminable winter have got you long in the mouth. Try ‘Tropical Sunset foto-fence #6’ and forget those drizzly days of the past. Prefer something more exotic? Maybe a golf course scene in Hawaii is more your style with its happy duffers driving the fairways of your own backyard. Just order ‘Pebble Beach Hole #9’ and imagine that drive between the sand bunkers hitting the green every time. Twenty images to choose from, installed with no muss, no fuss. So easy and affordably priced you’ll want to change fences often.

Instant Foto-Fence. Because you deserve more than another man’s suburbs. Now available in electric for maximum dog repellant protection. Keeps out the deer too!!!

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