The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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So okay, maybe you’re a little appalled at Texas these days, think maybe passing a law that bans abortions is too extreme and yeah, you’re upset with the Supreme Court that let what is basically an unconstitutional law stand until they get around to hearing the case. I understand, I really do. But … look at it a slightly different way. Maybe lobby your legislature to ban your favorite cause du jour. Say … oh, ban handguns. Maybe all guns. Then offer the citizens of your fair state a bounty for every now illegal firearm they snitch on. You like that? Sure, you’re now a deputy basically, and better, you get a reward for turning in your fellow countryman.

You think maybe the police ought to be defunded but others worry crime will ramp up? Not to worry. All of us will be cops now essentially. Not salaried, of course, but every crime you report, ka-ching ka-ching, one less cop you need on a city payroll, one less retirement fund, one less health care plan, no more sick days, no more vacation time. Defunding made E-Z. We’ll keep a few law enforcement folks on duty to pick up the identified miscreants, might even have to hire extra judges, but with all of us keeping a vigilant eye on our neighbors and friends, crime should end pretty quick.

Oh, I know, some states will probably require gun ownership. Some states will outlaw homosexuality again. Some will probably reinstate slavery. Churchgoing might become mandatory, probably just the Christian churches. But YOUR state will do YOUR bidding. It is, after all, called the United STATES of America, not just America, meaning, your state can do what it wants. Texas, thank God, thank its Christian God, is leading the way here. Remember the Alamo, y’all, and figure that now Davy Crockett would be able to turn Jim Bowie over to Santa Ana for a sizeable reward. Might actually have saved some lives in the end, not a total slaughter.

I’m certain that you, like myself, have a wish list of laws we’d like enacted. I’m pretty sure we could end Covid if we incarcerated, I mean sequestered, those folks who refused to get a vaccination. I’m thinking maybe 500 bucks a head for turning them in, a drop in the bucket compared to hospital costs. I’ve already ordered my Costco multi-camera surveillance kit that I’ll aim at the neighbors’ houses. I figure this could be steady income if we just make some of their activities I object to illegal. As they should be.

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