The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Jim Shipley, the editor of the Pulitzer Prize-less Crab Cracker, gets folks all the time who think somehow I’m the chief, cook and bottle washer of this highly successful literary and art and current event bi-weekly journal that’s been publishing since way before my ‘Best By’ date. I have repeatedly told Jim that I take credit for the success of ‘our’ magazine with only a minimal number of gullible South Enders. Not too many. Well, only the people I run into.

Jim gets a lot of complaints from folks who think what I write in the hugely popular Moonshine Wit and Wet Powder Wisdom column is true. Gospel, even. Indisputable if not somewhat libelous. April Fool is nearly every other week up at the litiginous-averse Cracker, but of course, I’m not the one who’s liable, the Cracker is. I know, this doesn’t seem fair. Jim pays the printing costs, the taxes, the deliveries and worse, the extravagant advances and royalties we journalists demand … and yet, he’s on the ropes for attorney fees for, okay, my slanderous and reprehensible attempts at humor.

But then, who said life is fair? I’ll tell you who: attorneys. And humor columnists. Lovers and warriors where everything is fair, that’s who. So … maybe it’s a sense of guilt, maybe it’s a strictly financial move, maybe it’s just a quixotic whim on my part — who knows? — but I went to Jim and made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

Of course, I can’t disclose the exact terms of our non-disclosure agreement but let’s just say we came to a happy compromise and leave it for the forensic accountants to sort out if it comes to that. But next issue expect the masthead to read:
SKEETER DADDLE DIATRIBES
All the Truth You Need

You want to send a complaint to the editor, pal, good luck. The days we apologize for Attitude left the Stanwoodopolis Station a long long time ago. Say hello to the New Boss. Believe me, you’re gonna miss Jim!

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