The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

If there is a more devolved creature on God’s green earth than a used car dealer, it’s got to be a rental car service rep. I’m in L.A. waiting for a car I reserved, but, oh, we’re sorry sir, we don’t have one available. They tell me they’ll have one in 30 minutes so here I sit an hour later as rush hour traffic builds, something I’d hoped to avoid by flying in early. What do you do, what do you say? You gonna walk??

These lowlifes have more scams than dogs have ticks. Extra insurance, cheap gas if you let them charge you for a fill-up as if it were on Empty, all kinds of bogus deals for the unwary or those in a hurry. RENTER BEWARE ought to be in large block letters over every Budget, Alamo, Avis, Bend-Over rental agency in America. I blew a tire in Arkansas on a car with over 30,000 miles and was charged for a new tire that I spent a day rounding up, ordering and finally getting it put on even though the old one was 75% used up. Sure, I argued politely. Course I asked to speak to the manager who explained patiently that since I hadn’t purchased the insurance policy (an amount approximately equivalent to the cost of the tire) I would have to pay for a new tire. He even agreed, finally, that, yes, it was unfair to charge me full price for a tire nearly beyond its expected lifespan. And then he said, “Here’s what I’m gonna do. Take some coupons for a discount on your next rental.” Well, there’s a sucker born every day but I don’t plan to be born again, not with religion and definitely not with rental car goons.

A nice couple sat next to me on the bench reserved for Suckers. Same deal, same scam, same sorry story. Their car would be arriving, oh, oddly enough, about when mine was expected — an hour ago. My guess (and I didn’t want to depress them any further than the depth they’d already sunk to) was we’d both get the same car, kind of a ride share deal. I’m just hoping we’re going in the same direction….

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