The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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I’m old enough to have seen more than my fair share of Presidential debates, some good, some not so good. I can remember Nixon sweating under the hot lights in the Kennedy debates. I remember poor Quayle in the Veep debates trying to summon the ghost of Kennedy before his opponent said he knew Jack Kennedy, he was a friend of Jack Kennedy, and you, sir, are no Jack Kennedy. I watched George Herbert Bush looking at his watch, bored with the whole proceedings. Mostly I remember candidates squaring off on issues, debating substance, looking for a right hook to the chin that would finish off their adversary.

Last night I watched a debate, if we can call it that, like nothing I’d ever seen before, not even the Trump/Clinton smackdowns. This one, well, what do we make of it? Unhinged? Deranged? Unsightly? All of the above? Sure, let’s be generous, it was all of the above and a lot more. An uglier performance would be hard to imagine without punches literally thrown, hair pulled, shirts torn, biting and scratching with overturned podiums and microphones used as mallets. It was live wrestling without the wrestling.

I guess the President figured if he simply bullied and interrupted continually, his flustered opponent might become so exasperated he’d make gaffe after gaffe. All Biden really had to do was look halfway composed, even a bit confounded by the flailing Trump. What Trump must have been thinking is anybody’s guess. At least until he got to the pointed questioning by moderator Wallace whether he would condemn white supremacists. Kind of a softball really. Just say sure, you bet, who wouldn’t? Instead he flustered and blustered, asked who Wallace was talking about, what right wing hate groups, only to have the helpful Biden suggest the Proud Boys. ‘Stand back and stand by’, the President of the United States answered immediately.

Holy KKK, Batman, are you k-k-kidding? The head of the FBI just finished testifying in Congressional hearings the biggest threat to this country was right wing extremists and you’re calling on one of the most organized of the racist bunch to stand by??? Stand by for what, Mr. President? Shock troops to protect the white suburban women of America?

Nobody expects clarification today, nobody expects an apology. I remember when George Wallace ran for President. I didn’t know George Wallace, I was no friend of George Wallace, but you, Mr. Trump are definitely a George Wallace. Mission accomplished, Mr. President. Mission sadly accomplished. Trust me, no one needs to sit through another debate like this. Put a fork in your eye, you’re done. Deservedly so ….

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Well, maybe you’re like a lot of folks, feeling sorry for the accused in sexual harassment cases, upset at the screaming banshee women who point their polished glued-on nails at poor defenseless men. Would-be rapists deserve some sympathy too, I’m sure most of us would agree. Us poor men, misunderstood and falsely accused! And while we’re at it, maybe we should take those lying women and charge them with felony slander. Or better yet, take them out and stone them. That should quiet things down PDQ! I hate to take a page from the Taliban playbook, but hey, they stone women who are defiled and maybe now you can understand why. See, we’re not anti-Muslim, that’s just more hysterical snowflake bullshit.

And while we’re at hashtag affiliations, why not #WhiteMen, #AmericanRacists, #MeBullyToo, #PoliceKillers, #MeRussianHackers, #TalibanTerrorists?? These folks have been the innocent targets of the liberal left mob for far too long. Don’t they know who won the damn election? Don’t they get it that they’re in the wilderness now and we men, we white men, are in charge? Wake up and smell the testosterone!

Meanwhile, let’s get Bill Cosby back on the comedy circuit. We could use a few belly laughs in these dark and polarized times. Date rape jokes by Fat Albert, maybe give him a new TV series,after all, he’s America’s Dad. And for godsake, let’s let Weinstein get back to making movies. Haven’t we got bigger fish to fry in this country than victimizing the accused? I think you and I both know we do. And no, I’m not talking about Russian collusion or fraudulent tax returns. I’m talking about draining that swamp in D.C.. Time to investigate Hillary again for Benghazi crimes!!

The time has come for us white males to fight back! If we let every pissed off woman who spurned our advances label us as rapists and attackers, hellfire, there wouldn’t be anyone left to date. Except ugly bitches. And yeah, we need to stop political correctness too, boys. If they’re ugly, what are we supposed to do, put em on the cover of Vanity Fair and Vogue? Next thing you know they’ll want income parity. And OUR jobs. Yup, we need to stop this thing in its tracks before it gets even crazier. We need to rally for our cause. We need #Him Too!!!

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