The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

The immigrants are coming, the immigrants are coming! An army of Central American refugees are marching toward the southern border, hordes of desperate families, women and children, with, so says the President, terrorists hiding among them. And zombies! Yes, zombies!! The zombie apocalypse is here!!!

Well, it’s maybe not quite the apocalypse. Just another Halloween day in what has become a permanent state of fear in Trump’s America. Pipe bombs are showing up on everybody’s mailbox from Robert De Niro to Joe Biden, George Soros to Obama. The conspiracy theorists are screaming ‘false flags’, meaning the Democrats are sending these to scare up votes for the midterms. Everyone is suspect. Everyone is guilty. Lock em up, lock em up! Unless they’re up for a Supreme Court position. Or they’re the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia.

We’ve got to Do something! We’ve got to be on Full Alert! We need to drill off the Arctic Coast and we need to build intermediate range hypersonic nuclear weapons. We need to tear up treaties and stop trusting our untrustworhy allies. We need to build a Wall and we should definitely start constructing fallout shelters in every home. We need to listen to Fox News and we need to pack the courts with fully vetted conservative judges. We need to trust the president and believe what he says and stop fact-checking every damn statement. The times are dangerous and it’s far more important to Act than to quibble about small inconsistencies.

The immigrants are on their way. Voter fraud is rampant. Welfare cheats are everywhere. The Moslems have taken over Detroit and imposed Sharia Law. There are pederast rings in pizza parlors run by Hillary Clinton and her nefarious cohorts. George Soros is paying for that invading army of immigrants. Wake up, wake up before it’s too late! If it’s not already….

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