The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Lately there has been some serious speculation that D.J. Trump has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Japan’s Prime Minister. Of course mostly it’s a rumor started by Trump himself, but it does give you some insight into the man’s modesty. If it were true, no doubt he would be in fairly serious competition with Assad of Syria and Putin of Russia, but as you know by now from repetitious self-advertising, the man is a Winner, a legend in his own mind.

Why not? We live in a topsy-turvy world now and if you think the Peace Prize is out of his reach, think again. After all, he stopped that imminent war with North Korea he threatened to start. And if the planet isn’t safer after pulling out of the Iran Treaty, he doubled down by pulling out of the IMF missile treaty too. His automaton Vice President just boasted to the Europeans that because D.J. was bullying them into paying more for NATO, it made him the Leader of the Free World. So what if nobody applauded. At least they didn’t laugh.

Me, I’m expecting an announcement any day that D.J. was also nominated for the Physics Prize. The Stockholm committee will reason that anyone who can call into question the laws of science must be a force to be reckoned with. And while they’re at it, maybe nominate him for the Literature Prize for elevating the Tweet to an artform for generations to come. Wouldn’t surprise me either if they awarded him the prize for Economics too, a leader who took the voodoo out of economics and brought zombie finance back to life, waging tariff wars and renegotiating existing pacts and returning us to nationalism when the rest of the world is recklessly moving toward globalism.

While they’re at it, maybe they’ll rethink the name, Nobel Prize. Trump Prize. Has a nice ring to it. And instead of handing out the awards, maybe they could have the nominees compete, then one by one, be eliminated. A little more interesting than just handing out the medals, don’tcha think? Plus, the advertising revenues would be huge. Might have to add a few categories to hold public interest, but it’s about time to freshen up a stale contest. Prize in Demagoguery is my pick. And I have someone in mind already. The rest are fired!

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