The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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The good folks of Portland, Oregon are on the march. It’s the whitest large city in America and they want to keep it that way. Seattle plans to march too now, no doubt realizing those pesky Arabs want to subvert their city council and impose Sharia Law on the citizens of their fair city. We apparently are Under Siege and all this time you’ve been sleeping during MSNBC.

You ask yourself maybe, what are these people smoking? And what’s next? A march against polio vaccinations? A protest against outer space intruders? Rallies to defund science? A pre-emptive strike against Mars?

Whoa, we’re already defunding science. And folks already think vaccinations cause autism and even Liberal thinking. Space intruders? Okay, let’s march against aliens. Why not? Well, I’ll tell you why not: half the protesters will probably be Them, that’s why!! They’re probably the ones who advocate for vaccines. And you know, you have to know, they believe in science, the Real Science, if they managed to get here from Solar System X. Or Mars!!!

Ignorance used to be bliss. Now it just seems like ignorance is anger. Probably caused by gluten! I was sitting in the tire shop the other day, chatting it up with a couple of fellow customers, waiting for my tire to be repaired, some screw jammed in its treads causing it to leak (go ahead, take this as a metaphor for America). You know, if I believed in that sort of cause and effect. My fellow inmates were discussing everything from health care to nuclear testing, global warming to wheat pesticides. God only knows where they glean their information, but not from scientific journals or the lying media, that’s for certain. There were multiple conspiracy theories, from the government testing nuclear bombs next to Las Vegas to Monsanto poisoning the wheat just before harvest. The government, the chemical industry, the pharmaceuticals, the United Nations, you name it, all evil, all pervasive, all out to get them.

I listened politely, asked a few questions, volunteered some replies and prayed to Allah that my tire would be fixed ASAP, before the rubber industries could imbed brainwashing devices inside the sensors they already got in my radials that would render me as ignorant and pissed off as my already doomed compatriots there in the waiting room. Sharia Law? Hellfire, I got bigger issues than that to worry about now….

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