The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

If you were the King of the Deal Makers, the Top Gun real estate developer in the entire bloody world, a man who could sell hot dogs at a PETA convention, you too might be looking for the next great challenge. He’s already been a reality TV star. He pandered his way into being THE rich playboy jetsetter of New York City. Oh, and he became President of the United States….

What’s the next act for a man whose self-esteem needs a constant fuel supply? Sure, he could declare war on Iran or bomb the bejabbers out of the Taliban. He can start up the nuclear arms war again. He could even drive the country into a recession with enough time to declare victory when the economy started back up. But that’s not enough! Any pedestrian president could do that. What he needs is a Blockbuster. He needs the equivalent of a moon landing. He needs, in short, something biglier than anyone ever imagined. Ever dreamed even.

He needs to buy Greenland. Trump Tower right there at the foot of the melting glaciers. Couple more years and room for a 36 hole golf course. A resort for the ages. Ice-a-Lago! And yeah, I know the Danes don’t want to sell it, but they’re dealing with the guy who wrote the book on the Art of the Deal. Okay, okay, he didn’t write it, a man he hired wrote it, but nevertheless …. If the dude who drove casinos into bankruptcy and still has his name on hotels around the world with backing from major fiduciary firms, if that hombre can’t pull off the real estate deal of the century, I ask you, who can?

All that land, think of it, slowly melting off into the oceans, leaving behind acreage for condos, hotels, stripmalls, industrial areas, military bases, an entire country open to naked plundering. And what better country to do the plundering than the Yew Ess Aye. For all we know there might be coal under those mountains of ice. We’ll bring it back, yes we will, yes we can. Greenland will be green once again. Greenback of dollar, if nothing else. Give the man four more years, he’ll buy Antarctica too!

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