The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Having endured a flickering lightbulb in our walk-in closet for months, one that would, if you hung around awhile, kick up to full brightness, I decided to bite the bullet and replace the damn thing. Couldn’t see what I was doing down there, socks didn’t match, shirts put on backwards, kind of like living in a cave before rural electrification. I climbed up on a chair to reach the fixture and unscrewed one of the first ice cream cone fluorescents that came out back in the last century.

I went up to another closet, this one with no lights whatsoever, and dug out the box of LED’s that I’ve been using to slowly upgrade every light fixture in the house and shack. Went back down to the cave, screwed the bulb in, one that looks exactly like the old incandescents, and voila, the closet lit up like a dressing room in Las Vegas. Whoever invented LED’s should get as much recognition as Tom Edison, far as I’m concerned. Bright, efficient and I’ll probably never change that bulb as long as I live. What’s not to like?

My President, that’s what. This week he rescinded the Obama era edict to phase out the wildly inefficient incandescent light bulb. If Obama had required we ban kerosene lamps, I’m sure the Trumpster would be advocating a return to those or whale oil lanterns. Nothing is too anti-sensible for our boy. Bring back the coal jobs, drill for oil in the Arctic Wilderness Refuge, build the pipelines for sandpit oil, spurn the climate talks with our allies. I mean, I love the 20th century myself and I call myself a Luddite when it comes to a lot of so-called modern conveniences, but c’mon, embracing plastic straws and incandescent lightbulbs, let it go, man, let it go.

And while we’re at it, how about cutting down on the hairspray? We got holes in the ozone that are widening faster than the seas are rising, probably because of that ozone killing spray you douse yourself with every 15 minutes, proud as a peacock to have a few hairs left to spray at all, I suppose.

Go take a long hard look in the make-up mirror, Don. LED’s might offer closer inspections. Course, you said this week that the newfangled lights make you look orange. I bet they do. Maybe that’s the real issue….

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