The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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Give the guy some credit, he never quits. He’s the proverbial bad penny, the Grinch who stole America. And if he wasn’t totally pissed off before, he is now. He feels your pain and shares your grievance. Oh boy, he’s going to be the warrior king who seeks revenge on the woke crowd the right wing blame for their grudges and resentments. He’ll be their bully, the righteous dude who kicks sand in the faces of the wimps. He’s their outlaw ruler, the bad boy who beats up on the minorities they hate too. And yesterday he was indicted, first President in our history to receive the honor. You better believe he’s spitting nails down there in Muddy Lago.

You might be wondering if you’re one of the wimps, one of the woke, one of those retribution will be meted out on. Good chance you are. Hitler had a few favorite targets. Jews, gypsies, homosexuals. If you’re going to be the champion of the aggrieved, best to find a scapegoat. Or two. Maybe a lot more. Trans, gays, the press, Hollywood, the educated elite, the coastal folks, blacks, most everyone not white, immigrants, college professors, Democrats, liberals — it’s a wide net. Chances are pretty good you’re on the hit list of those who need swift retaliation and harsh vengeance. Lock em up! Lock em up! He means You, buddy.

Course, if you attack too many groups, you run the risk of losing their support. Sure, we might want revenge on, oh, drag queens, but call for the castigation of dozens of enemy lists, what’s left are the Fox News addicts and I seriously doubt they make up a majority of Americans. Maybe in the South, probably in Idaho, but it’s a big country and most of us wimps aren’t too worried that Hollywood is undermining the nation’s morality. Or what shoes M&M cartoon ads are wearing. Last survey I saw asking if ‘woke’ was derogatory or not, most folks thought it was a positive thing. Most of us would like to believe we’re not dozing off at the wheel, much less aim the car at those who actually are awake. And more to the point, most of us don’t want Donald driving anything more lethal than his golf cart. Anybody in his foursome maybe ought to be careful.

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We need to turn down the heat, our President-in-Exile said today.  What oh what could he do to help? he wondered, saying he’d offered the Department of Justice assurances he would assist them in any way he could.  Of course then he tweeted that the American people would not stand for any more witch hunting shenanigans by the FBI.  Thanks, Donald, for trying to put out the fire.  Next time, don’t use flammables in a high wind.

I guess if I had multiple legal problems, I’d think about starting a backfire, see if we could draw attention to Over There, Look!  They Raided My Beautiful House, They Swiped My 3 Passports, They Even Took Those Top Secret Nuclear Files That Don’t Exist But If They Do They Got De-classified Before I Left Office!  And anyway, I offered to give them back but they snuck in and stole them.  You know, if they even exist.  And if they are there, the FBI planted them.

I know ten year old punk kids who can make better excuses than this guy.  Some can even stick to their story without changing it every day.  The question I want to ask my MAGA friends is how they would look at this story if it were anyone else but Trump.  I’m not even talking about Obama or Hillary.  Just anybody.  Joe Schmoe, say, who happens to have a basement full of top secret files the government asked to get back but who, for whatever reason, decided to keep.  Files on sensitive operations, nuclear secrets, who knows what on the French President, files that were never meant to be moved without authorization.  What would you think we should do when Joe says he gave them back, nothing to see in his basement that would interest the FBI and anyway, Joe claims they’re not really confidential materials, go whistle in the dark.

Okay, I know what my MAGA friends would say.  Deep State, government conspiracy, innocent when proven guilty, best President we ever had, witch hunt, witch hunt, witch hunt, stolen election, Benghazi Benghazi.  I know too what I would say. Lock Him Up!

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Let’s be honest with one another, can we? Sure, Donald Trump has made a few mistakes before and since taking office as the world’s most powerful man. Some are pretty embarrassing, like those women who accused him of sexual harassment or even rape. At least he didn’t drug them like that Cosby freak. The golden shower stuff, well, nobody wants to visualize that so better to let leaking dogs lie, agreed? Course, we have the payoffs to porn stars and Playboy models to keep quiet, something that might be construed as unreported campaign expenses, but hey, you guys out there, wouldn’t you like to be in his shoes? Sure, just good old American male hormones slightly unchecked, let’s not pull an Al Franken here.

All right, I know you’re upset he didn’t show you his taxes like every other President. You don’t show yours to every Tom Dick and Harry. And okay, he makes a little money off his businesses while he’s in office. It is a capitalist country, c’mon, give the guy some credit for using his golf course as a second Oval Office. He’s rich already, who cares if he gets a little richer while he’s running the country. And the kids, they’re making some too, get over it. Think how hard it is to run your own companies while you’re problem solving the Middle East and all those other hotspots they’ve been assigned to clean up. Plus, they’re inexperienced and honestly, a little over their heads. Cut em a break, why don’t we?

You think maybe he’s a little palsy-walsy with Putin, I know, maybe something there that’s being held over him. And yeah, he sort of dissed our allies, but he did say he was going to overturn the apple cart, drain the swamp, all that less government talk we all like to hear. Sure he’s still going after those rapist immigrants. Just talk. There’s probably one or two who were rapists, you don’t think they’re all saints, do you? And those cabinet appointments, mostly lobbyists and amateurs, but you have to learn on the job sometimes and if you want to skim the top off Deep State, how else you going to do it??

And yeah, there’s this Mueller investigation, this witch hunt. Okay okay, you think maybe there’s something to it, something that might come to light that proves all the terrible things you thought about Donald were right. Sure, Flynn and Manafort and those others, are being indicted. But in America you’re innocent until proven guilty, agreed? No collusion! No guilt! Nothing! We should stop that witch hunt right now, it’s all over, nothing found, no guilt, no collusion! Let the man run the country for godsake and let’s get back to investigating something real. You know what I mean. Benghazi.

Those Facebook revelations, I knew you’d bring them up. Okay, that consulting firm harvested tons of data from Zuck, then used them in the campaign to elect Mr. Trump. So what? He didn’t know about it. He told you that. And if you can’t believe the President of the United States, who can you believe? If you want to clean up politics, how about getting those e-mails from Hillary. No, not the ones Comey and the FBI looked at, those secret ones she washed. How about that? How about we go after Hillary Clinton? She’s the traitor! Lock her up!! And that crap about her winning the popular vote?? Fake news, pal. Illegal votes. Take away those illegal votes and Trump would have won in a landslide. That’s the truth and if you can handle the truth, check out Breitbart, listen to Fox and Friends, they have the facts, the real ones. Donald J. Trump, the right man for the times. You know it in your heart. Even if you won’t admit it.

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