The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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I think the saddest story I heard all week — and as you know, there were plenty coming out of the White House — was the one where Karen McDougal apologized to Melania for the affair she had with Melania’s husband Donald J. This is the stuff of trashy novels, soap operas and high-minded porn films, but the sad part was she loved the jerk. I know, it’s hard to imagine, but maybe we judge the man too harshly. Something underneath that braggart exterior, deeper than the bullying and the lying, more complex than the 10 year old angry punk who has a germ phobia, must be loveable. Vulnerable. Attractive to a Playboy model anyway.

Maybe we’re all too sensitized by the faux news stories that depict our President as a moron, a mean-spirited monster, a shallow dildo of a man interested in only himself and his next sexual and/or political conquest, a greedy knee-jerk real estate huckster who, despite winning the highest office in the world, still wants to sell Trump MAGA hats. An imbecile who Karen McDougal fell in love with over a prolonged affair. Maybe, just maybe, we’ve judged the man too harshly.

Who knows? Maybe he had a tough childhood. A cruel father. A mother who bottle fed him skim milk. A nanny who sexually abused the boy. An allowance so low he had to buy used Chevys. We don’t know what molded the man, do we? But Karen might. Karen was intimate with him. Karen loved him. And she thought maybe he loved her for more than her centerfold personality. Well, until he offered to pay her. And of course then she felt like … not the love of his life. Like … well, a woman who gave him sex and was now in a fiscal negotiation.

You think that isn’t sad?? You think maybe that’s the saddest sorry story you heard this week. It makes the Stormy Daniels tell-all coming up tomorrow on 60 Minutes look like a com/rom movie. Stormy didn’t love the jerk, she’ll be the first to tell you. And she wasn’t hurt and humiliated when he paid her to keep their tryst quiet. It was, after all, just a business deal. Maybe not too artful, but a deal’s a deal. And they’re made to be broken, as Donald has said many times. That right there is the Art of the Deal. And Karen, a word of advice, the next boyfriend, be a better judge of character. If he acts like an asshole, chances are, he probably is.

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