The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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Maybe you haven’t seen the photos that prove the moon landings were a hoax. Probably a little too busy sorting through the NY Times trying to figure out what stories are faux news and what are just editorials. I have trouble myself. My father sent me an e-mail chain letter yesterday showing John McCain, the senator who ran for President, the same one Trump said was no war hero in his book, wasn’t a war hero after all but a traitor as well.

I’m not sure if NASA is now the Enemy or not. I’m not sure the moon even really exists or is just some mylar balloon painted with phony baloney craters some alien race put up there to trick us into thinking celestial bodies orbit around us. And no, I don’t know why they did it, I just know they maybe did it. They’re aliens. How are we supposed to know what they’re thinking. I can’t even figure out what Kellyanne
Conway is thinking and … wait! Do you think she might just be … an alien? The logic kind of proves it, doesn’t it???

All my life I’ve been told the tides are driven by the moon’s orbit. I accepted it without much question and maybe you did too. Third grade propaganda! No wonder Texas wants to rewrite those school books. Texans mostly don’t have tides except around the Gulf and those folks aren’t really Texans. Not that I think they’re aliens. Liberals maybe, which is close. But I live next to the Puget Sound and the tides come in and they go out. Twice a day!! How the hell do they do it? And WHO is doing it?? The aliens?

Humans sure couldn’t. Trump might think he can, but he can’t. Nobody on this earth could do it. So that leaves … no, not Kellyanne. Well, maybe Kellyanne, but more likely the aliens. In league with the Russians? I don’t know, but they might be. And if they might be, they probably are. Tomorrow, when my old man sends some new e-mails, I’ll find out the truth. I sure hope my old man isn’t one of the aliens cause that would mean a DNA test on me is going to be really really embarrassing.

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