The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

You maybe remember Oliver North, the poster boy for the Iran/Contra affair, that black spot on American History where Reagan and his team played a little fast and loose with the law to secretly fund a war in Nicaragua with money from Iranian arms sales. Some might say this should have gotten Ronnie impeached, but in the malaise of Nixon’s exit, another presidential ousting was more than Congress could stomach. Ollie, some say, took the fall instead. Me, I think the belligerent little soldier of fortune deserved all the jail time we could give him.

So it was little surprise Fox News gave our traitor a hero’s welcome. They’d give Benedict Arnold an anchor spot if they saw George Washington as the status quo. And now the National Rifle Association just announced Ollie will be their new President, replacing, well … nobody we’d remember since Charleston Heston memorably played the role. Hard to beat Moses. But Oliver North isn’t a bad choice. You know, if you want a hard-nosed, take-no-prisoners, cold hearted sonofabitch for your spokesman. And apparently the NRA does.

I mean, you got these snot nosed high school kids tugging at your bump stocks, smarmy smart asses who wouldn’t know an AR-15 from an AK-47, who think a Glock is a pharmaceutical stock their parents have in their portfolio … punk kids who want to embarrass their legislators for taking money from the NRA, protectors of the second amendment, and whose aim is to ban all shooting irons in the Yew Ess of Aye. You need a killer for president. You need a paid assassin. You need, yep, you need Ollie. Apparently Stephen Seagal and Dick Cheney are busy. Personally, Dick would have been the better choice. He was willing to shoot his own duck hunting partner. You have to RESPECT a man who blasts his friends, a man would willingly lay waste to those high school kids, no twinge of conscience for him. Have gun, will travel.

The NRA apparently feels under siege. Thousands of high school girls and boys, placards held defiantly high, picketing and getting out the future vote. That’s more firepower than La Pierre and his paranoid thugs were prepared to confront. They needed a stronger offense, if you can imagine that. They needed an Oliver North. Probably to sell arms to the Iranian mullahs for cash to power up a P.R. blitz. All I can add is that Fox News’ loss is probably nobody’s gain. Go get em, Ollie!

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