The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

What, me worry? Gee, just that human life on this hotbox of a planet is doomed? C’mon, let’s be optimistic, look at the bright side, the cockroaches will live on, maybe evolve into big brained bugs, solve the global warming conundrum, build pyramids four feet high, worship their gods, set up governments, fight wars with the termites, continue the proud legacy we homo sapiens couldn’t quite extend into the planetary future we screwed up. We had our shot, gave it a brief run, but decided we preferred Cadillacs and speedboats to survival. Party on, Bro!

We kind of lived for today. Be Here Now, right? The future, the next generation, the kids, the grandkids, well, we figured it would work out fine. Okay, we didn’t worry much about that, a little bizzy making ourselves happy, the next generation be damned. Sure, a bit selfish, but hey, we were the Entitled Ones, the folks who couldn’t lift a finger to help those who were poor or hungry or homeless, those sad people who apparently didn’t invest in the stock market or go to college or get hired by the tech industry, what can you do if they won’t help themselves??

We all had an equal chance, right? Not our fault you were born in Yemen. Grab those bootstraps and haul yerself up, climb the ladder to the top, pal. No whining! Can’t have that whimpering. No, sir, cowboy up! So what if we left a few messes to clean up, you can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs, now can you? But hey, give us some props. After all, we invented the internet and social media and bitcoin mining. Plus, how about artificial intelligence? We built machines smarter than all of us put together and if you work it right, they’ll solve all these world problems in no time flat. Pretty soon they’ll be improving themselves. And figure out they don’t really need us wreaking havoc on their planet, the one they will soon have Total Control of. I mean, how hard would it be to outsmart the people who believe in Qanon? One prosthetic tied behind their back and they’d still win.

Maybe it’s for the best. Artificial Intelligence, the next evolutionary stage of life on Earth. Unless, of course, you’re one of those bipedal Darwin deniers, then … well, good luck! When the droids get done with you, you’ll wish you really were a monkey’s uncle.

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