The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Now that we all understand that the news is faux and science is a hoax, the door to Understanding is wide open once again. Just this week you maybe read about the guy who’s built his own rocket and plans to launch himself into the sky blue yonder so he can look down and prove with undoctored photographs that the earth is flat. His rocket was financed by the Flat Earth Society and I admit, I didn’t realize there were still Flat Earthers among us, and even now I assume they are a comedy troupe out of L.A.

Ordinarily I would applaud the guy. He says he doesn’t believe in Science but he’s blasting off on his own expedition and a high risk experiment. Copernicus and Galileo sat on their butts, but this adventurer is putting his on top of highly explosive fuel tanks. Course, he’s only going up about 1000 feet and probably won’t get too great a photo documentation, but c’mon, give the man credit. If not for brains, for courage.

I know, you’re wondering why he doesn’t spend the money for a rocket on a plane ticket. Get up about 35,000 feet, 35 times higher than his homemade cannon shell, so maybe he doesn’t believe airplanes can fly or he doesn’t like going through Homeland Security, whatever, he’s going up.

Who knows, maybe he’ll discover the planet IS flat. Maybe this global warming has pancaked the earth to the point the oceans are cascading off the edges in giant waterfalls out into the galactic void virtually unnoticed by the space station pretending to orbit a flat planet. Personally — and this only me — I’d forego that ballistically dangerous ride into outer space and go the other way. Dig down, buddy, until you reach the other side, the earth’s bottom. Probably not even a thousand feet and way less dangerous. Course, you want to be careful that last shovel full so you don’t fall through. Especially if you don’t believe in science and gravity. God speed, Mr. Flatlander!

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