The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

The Supreme Court of Alabama just decided that a fertilized embryo, frozen even, constituted a living human being, meaning that if you killed little Jimmy, you’re liable for murder. The Head Justice declared this was the will of God. Hard to argue against the will of God, that’s for sure. Probably not too long before sperm is considered human life, maybe ban contraceptives that prevent the little wigglies from doing what the Lord Almighty intended them to do.

Kinda hate to admit it in these theocratic times, but back 53 years ago I had a vasectomy. I know, the statute of limitations over the murder of a million potential lives may not apply. And even if it didn’t, Eternal Damnation might still be in store for this boy. All I thought I was doing, mistaken though it might have been, was trying to avoid an unwanted pregnancy. At the time I really didn’t consider myself a serial killer. Alabama might.

Maybe the solution to the ‘immigration problem’ is really more unwanted pregnancies, a boost in the low wage baby force to take those jobs nobody wants now except the immigrants. Get rid of legal abortion, maybe ban all contraceptives, forbid sex ed in our schools, let the Lord’s will be done, hey, we don’t need cheap labor from the south lands, we’ll have plenty right here. Course, the local yokels might not pick our crops, build our houses, landscape our lawns or dig our ditches — not for sub wages.

If it costs a little more, if we need to raise minimum wages, if taxes have to go up, well, I’m okay with that, I’m completely chill. Just don’t put me on trial for first degree murder. Don’ put me and my fellow murderers digging ditches. We’ll get our justice in the next life down in a burning Hell. Where I’m damn sure I’ll be in good company.

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