The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

After 15 minutes of trying to log on to the computer at the motel we’re staying at, with no control over the mouse’s pointer, I finally gave up. But as you know, if you know me at all, I do not readily admit defeat to the gods of technology and if I did, I would beat that mouse to a plastic death so that neither of us would win. So I engaged my Holmesian power of rational deduction and returned minutes later to the unheated side room by the motel’s front door they amusingly labeled BUSINESS CENTER, no doubt because not only did it have a computer and a monitor and the aforementioned mousey, it had a bench too. For those waiting their turn? And … I brought a newspaper. I know what you’re thinking, but then you’re not Sherlock.

Course, really, neither am I. But I put the newspaper under the mouse (I did not roll it up and beat the bastard with it like a bad puppy) and voila, I had complete mastery of the machine. The Business Center desk was glass and my theory was the mouse needed an opaque surface. You Republicans should ignore this kind of reasoning and just assume the first attempt was either a bald-faced lie or the second just blind luck. I mentioned this to the day clerk, wondering mildly if anyone else had reported mouse malfunction and if so, perhaps he might consider, oh, one of those mousey pads. My guess is he doesn’t give a good goddamn and anyone who doesn’t travel with a laptop or a smartphone deserves a refrigerated alcove with a mouse that refuses commands. My second guess (theory) is that I might be the only person in the months or years who has used that computer and my Day Guy probably is disappointed I actually worked around their ploy in this Land of Entrapment we call New Mexico.

More worrisome, he and his chain motel employer may exact some kind of revenge. After all, they set up the Business Center fully intending to keep its usage to the bare minimum. I did notice next day no mouse pad had appeared since my most generous advice. Not exactly proof, but a strong suggestion of truthiness. Next up: how a certain motel has conspired with laptop manufacturers to encourage sales to the laptopless.

Stay tuned. I’m on the case.

Hits: 78