The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue. I still remember that bit of ditty from 3rd grade. Nina, the something, Pinta maybe?, the Santa Maria. Three ships sailing into history in search of Asia, the long route, the wrong route. No doubt they loved finding gold instead of spices. And of course a New World to explore, conquer and repopulate. In return for the native’s hospitality they brought microbes the indigenous folks had never been exposed to and so, without the necessity of major battles, the Spaniards decimated the Mayan, the Aztec and the Incan civilizations with brand new diseases. Smallpox for gold goblets. Black fever for slaves.

I suppose when we earthlings go to distant planets we’ll be peaceful, respectful, good neighborly, remembering that Columbus Day is just another Subjugation Day for the unfortunates who get discovered. Mars Rover Day will get replaced with a more politically correct moniker for its historic moment. Indigenous Martian Day really doesn’t work for me, but I won’t be around anyway, call it whatever you want.

Columbus Day either. Dump the whole holiday for all I care. Just don’t rebrand it. Us liberals really do value political correctness carried to the extremes. And so I can’t wait to hear the folks who vociferously decry any political correctness as a limit on their freedom of speech. They’re gonna howl that we’ve waged war on poor Christopher the way we wage war on their Christian holidays. And their Star Spangled Banner. And their Confederate traitor statues. Is NOTHING sacred?

Can’t we just learn to love one another even if they were slave traders and warmongers? Can’t we simply celebrate the holidays of the Judeo Christians and skip the minorities? So okay, we drop Christmas but we don’t call it Islam Alternative Day. And if we drop Columbus Conquers the Americas Day, let’s just find a new one somewhere in October to make a federal holiday. I like Halloween, good national fun and a money mojo for the candy and costume industry. Nobody made a dime on Columbus Day anyway and I notice the stock market doesn’t bother to celebrate it. What kind of holiday is it that can’t be monetized? Not a true American one, that’s for sure.

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