The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

I know I shouldn’t get all Big-Headed about this, but … the White House called today and asked if I would consider an appointment as Secretary of State. I was so taken by surprise I said I would have to take a day to consider this. Especially given the fact that I have no actual experience or expertise in world affairs other than a short stint teaching 8th graders American History. And, full disclosure, I taught them a version of Sociology 101 since that was my major and not history.

But when your country calls, can you really ignore the request? Sure, I realize the position is only open because no self-respecting State Department employee would take the job. Not when the employer is soon to be under indictment for felonies and possibly treason. And yet … isn’t this the moment for patriots to step forward? Nobody said a cabinet position would be easy, even if it looks like it might be a given that most of them lack the same experience I do. I haven’t even been a pundit on Fox News like most of them. But I would be after my term, guaranteed, I’m told, six figures, no background checks.

It’s bottom of the barrel time in America, obviously, but it’s also a golden opportunity to rise to the occasion, help make it Great Again, maybe turn the ship of state around, help Kushner solve that sticky wicket of a peace process in the Middle East and finalize a deal with Little Rocket Man over there in whatever country he’s running, Japan? Sure, I’ll have to bone up a bit, but that’s what Wickipedia is for. (I just looked up LRM’s country, it’s Korea, one or the other of the two.) And yeah, I know the Boss is hard on his employees, but I’ve been working for myself most of my life and my boss is a jerk most of the time, so big deal, I’m used to abuse. But the pay would sure look better!

So I’m thinking about taking the job. If I don’t, chances are you’ll get a call tomorrow. Maybe you should start thinking about it now. Chief of Staff is opening up this week and that cutie he just picked for Ambassador to the U.N. won’t be there long. Zinke is a dead man walking over in Interior and Mnuchin or Munchkin or however you say it probably should be checking his emails.

History makes great men, not the other way around. Might just be time to take your place in the pantheon.

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