The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

Happiness, for some, is a warm gun. I swear, the older I get the more I learn about the proclivities of my fellow citizens. But I have to admit, the term ammosexual was out of the blue in an era where everything lately seems out of the blue. You can buy a T-shirt with AMMOSEXUAL emblazoned on the front and you will fit right into the next MAGA rally where red caps and flag outfits are de rigueur. Childless Cat Lady, I’m Voting for the Convicted Felon, I Don’t Care, Black Lives MAGA (not sure what that one even means), there’s even one of Trump’s mugshot with the inscription underneath LEGEND.

I guess we live in bumper sticker times. T-shirts, ball caps, bumper stickers, all shouting out our politics, our grievances, our heroes. But there’s something about ammosexual that makes my butt cheeks clench, something beyond just partisan and creepy, way worse than weird. We already got an alphabet soup for sexual predilections, maybe we don’t need to add ammosexual if we’re not hopelessly woke. LGBTQ+A? Hard enough before. Probably should poll the National Rifle Association membership, see what percentage identify as ammosexual, find out if this is a minority desperate to step out of the closet. “Mom, Dad — I got something we need to talk about….”

Somehow I suspect the evangelicals won’t find biblical scripture or stricture to support anyone’s notion that ammosexuality was forbidden, deemed a perversion in the eyes of the Lord or otherwise pronounced taboo. Thou shalt not lie with thy neighbor’s ARE-15!! Not in the New Testament even and anyway the folks willing to cast the first stones won’t be stocking up with rocks, at least not for this particular proclivity.

Personally I guess if a person wants to engage in whatever with his/her/their guns or cannonballs, none of my business. And not the government’s either – even if, as I suspect, these ammosexuals would welcome Big Brother in your bedroom, probably not theirs. You know, until guns are outlawed and gun sex too.

Hits: 8