The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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We are Americans, rugged individuals, don’t tread on us!! We built the Empire State Building and the trans-continental railroad. We drive Range Rovers to our office job. Nobody can tell us what to do, we’re too rugged, too individual. Sometimes we wear socks that don’t match, usually by accident, but we won’t apologize for the fashion gaffe! No, we’re tough, we’re independent, we’re Americans.

We ride Harleys and we wear black leather jackets. Even the motorcycle gangs all wear black leather jackets, not to look the same, but to look different than You, because they’re the Wild Ones, the Different, the Dangerous, not anything like You. We wear sports jerseys, sports ballcaps, sports sweatshirts and jackets, not the same ones but ones with the number of our favorite player on our team, not your team, not your favorite player.

We live life on the Edge. We let the Costco toilet paper run down to only a few rolls before we buy another 40 roll replacement, that’s the kind of rugged individuals we are. We all buy sports utility vehicles because you never know when we’ll swerve off the highway and take the road into the wilderness. Or we might not, you just never know. We drink Bud Lite. I think that speaks for itself, don’t you?

We bought a house with a different color door than the other houses in the neighborhood. We had an affair with the neighbor too, just so you understand we’re not tied to conventions. We’re our own person, not some cookie cutter version of a TV sitcom. We don’t care how many Likes we get on Facebook even though we check the count. Some days we don’t even color coordinate our wardrobe! We use underarm deodorant to spare you our rugged odor. We have a stylist cut our hair once a month and sometimes we even change the style. That, my friend, is our wild hair! Feeling our oats. Not playing it safe. Because, yah, you guessed it, because we’re rugged individuals!!

Some nights we even watch foreign movies with subtitles on Netflix! Not kidding, we do! Crazy stuff like that, like going to Burger King instead of McDonalds or ordering something other than the burgers. Chance Takers, that’s who we are, the progeny of the pioneers who tamed this country. Any given day we might quit our stupid job and hit the road, never look back. Tell the boss to shove it. Take the risk. Because we’re Risk Takers, we’re tough as a Chevy truck. We vape tobacco and maybe we even still smoke cigarettes, because nobody is going to tell us what to do. We’re the Marlboro Man, Stetson on straight, burning our way across the landscape, solitary riders on the American plains, we’re independent, we’re free, we’re the new cowboys, same as the old cowboys.

Giddy up and Go, that’s our motto. Not that we have to giddy up and go anywhere, you understand. If we want to stay home, by god, we will. If we want to babysit the grandkids, that’s what we’ll do. If we want to read crap on the internet half the livelong day, you got it, we will. Nobody tells us what’s what. We’re Americans, dammit, we’re rugged individuals so don’t tread on us.

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