Trump’s Erectile Malfunction Exposed!!
A friend’s son, newly graduated from college, mentioned to me the other day that I should consider ‘monetizing’ this blog. Apparently he confused me with a blogger who has an audience of more than a handful of layabouts on the South End. Shortly after the Election of 2016 I listened to a Southern California dude who had put out faux news stories impugning Hillary Clinton and the Democrats. He claimed he had tried to plant fake stories about Trump too, but, he said, the folks on the Donkey side of the political aisle weren’t nearly as gullible as the Trumpists. He felt bad, he said, that stories like his had cost Clinton the election — he had even voted for her — but that’s the way the ball bounces.
The interviewer asked if he would continue to print faux news stories and he said he was considering desisting, but … geez, he was making 6 figures and he had a mortgage and a family to support. It was going to be a hard call. “How did you find me, anyway?” he wanted to know.
Let’s see, on one side, honesty and integrity; on the other, outrageous lies and money, the more outlandish, the more money. Call me cynical and tell me to go play by myself, but I’m betting our friend holds his nose and keeps printing what sells. Me, I’m accustomed to poverty. Plus, we don’t have a mortgage. And we don’t have any outstanding loans and, well, we never did. So maybe it’s easier for me than this lowlife Southern California creep to walk away from dirty money.
And oh, if you were wondering about the headline of today’s blog, it’s just a trial balloon. I mean, how will I really know if I would turn down 6 figures if I don’t actually make 6 figures? This is called research and development. So … thank you for your help. I sure couldn’t do it without you loyal readers. And here’s a sneak preview of tomorrow’s headline: Trump Fails Urine Test! Again!
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Oh yeah Skeeter, I’d fall for a headline like that. Clickbait at it’s finest, with a direct link to money and lies.
I remember an old saying, “A man is only as good as his word.” In fact if you want to see how anachronistic a line like that is these days, try this, start typing the phrase “A man is…” into Google Search and watch how long it takes auto fill to complete “good as his word” for you. A long time, because algorithms must have determined almost no one is looking for something as old-timey as a man’s honesty anymore.
What we want is to know now, what we’re really searching for is the value of his bank account. That’s the real worth of a man today. Of course such a thing would involve privacy issues, so hypothetically if a man wants to say he has $10 billion in assets and we can’t see his accounts, FICO scores, or tax statements, I suppose we’ll have to take him at his word, right?
Then, we’re right back where we started, in a way, but not really because with modern technology even liars have learned you can monetize your good name with bad math.
Damn, I think you may have ruined my next week’s headline TRUMP NET WORTH ZERO!! RUSSIANS CALL IN LOANS!
The trouble with phony billionaires is they still live like billionaires and as all those folks who play Powerball and Lotto full well know, it isn’t how you earn yer money, it’s how you spend it. Or at least leverage it.