Kardashians vs the Daddles
Well, it was only a matter of time, of course, before the social media clamor for more of Skeeter went viral. You can blame yourselves or congratulate you and your Facebook ‘friends’, but either way, expect a full scale frontal cable assault and You-Tube blitzkrieg for that 15 minutes of fame we all so desperately yearn for. Okay, not for you. Roll over Kardashians, Skeeter’s got the news.
Reality TV and its attendant sponsors surely have their fingers on the pulse and wallet of America, possibly the world, more than these poor pathetic politicians vying for the scraps of our attention spans in their sad quest for the Presidency. You think Kim Kardashian would trade places with the Commander in Chief? When every newsstand, Twitter feed, internet ‘news’ spots and Entertainment Tonight covers her every wardrobe, romance and dietary inclinations in minute detail??? The President maybe gets a 20 second spot on what we now think of as the liberal media and endless hours on Fox as their favorite evil dart board. Kim’s nobody’s fool.
And Skeeter’s nobody’s fool either. Awhile back one of the honchos of Island County politics ran into him at a charity fundraiser he was attending incognito and she asked if he knew this Skeeter fellow. He said he did indeed. She asked, “Are you Skeeter?”
“Sometimes,” he answered cautiously, sensing dangerous tectonics. She confided that the Democratic Party wanted someone from Camano Island to run for county commissioner and would he consider? She had heard from her sources that he was a potentially popular candidate. Skeeter said her sources were either unreliable or drug addled. Undeterred, she assumed he was joking. “I’ve heard you have quite a sense of humor,” she chuckled. Skeeter pointed out that there was nothing funny in politics these days. “All the more reason to throw your hat in the ring,” the party charwoman retorted.
Skeeter actually ran for commissioner a couple years earlier. As a joke. Even got a campaign poster in the Stanwood/Camano News and still receives write-in votes to this day. The editor at that time eventually ran — and won — the commissioner seat, never suspecting that Skeeter would be a stalking horse in the campaign, one that he had inadvertently unleashed on an unsuspecting populace.
But no, politics is not a hell Skeeter wants to inhabit. He has bigger fish to fry as we say down on the South End. He has his sights set on What Matters, what’s important, what moves the public’s imagination in this 21st Century hive mentality. He’s taking on Duck Dynasty, the Kardashians, America’s Top Model, Dancing with the Stars and American Idol. He expects to be the next Big Thing. By the 2016 presidential elections, good luck to the candidates. If we even remember their names…..
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Skeeter, it sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind about a career in politics, but I hope it’s not because you’ve underestimated your qualifications. Journalist and all around cultural critic H.L. Mencken would no doubt support a Commissioner Daddle based on his political observations. Allow me to quote:
“I do not believe in democracy, but I am perfectly willing to admit that it provides the only really amusing form of government ever endured by mankind.”
And you’d no doubt get the South End voters to wind their way out of the hilltop nettles and down toward their local polling station, again according to H.L. Mencken:
“It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty — and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies.”
As Jenny once urged Forrest Gump, “Run Forrest, run!”
Of course, the smart choice as you’ve already pointed out may be to run… but to run away from, and as fast as you can, from the next election. Even if eminently qualified.
If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve. If defeated, I’ll quietly celebrate. Just me and the Kardashians.