Making it Real

I just heard Taco Time and Burger King announce they were going to start using Real Food. This is Hot News indeed: a restaurant serving actual ingredients!! The chemical factory stocks must be sliding headlong down a freefalling Dow. Course, I also heard if they were selling a ‘brand’ name, like Coca-Cola, they weren’t going to make it real, they don’t care WHAT Coke’s slogan sez. If high fructose sugar isn’t real, what is??

I spoze I shouldn’t poke fun. It’s a good sign, serving real food in a fast food joint. Who knows? Maybe us enlightened shoppers will demand the same thing in the grocery store. Maybe we’ll demand tomatoes that have a taste again! Fruit that wasn’t picked 2000 miles away! Apples that aren’t about 2 hours from applesauce! Vegetables that aren’t 10% pesticide! Food that’s food! Food that’s real, dammit! Like they got at Burger King!!!!!!!!

It’s a new world, all right. Organic section in the produce aisle, gluten free in the bakery and in the beer depot even. Gluten free in the hardware these days, can’t be too careful. You got a nut allergy, they got nutless stuff, no problem.

Free range chickens, cage free eggs, yah shure, u betcha. You want fresh, we got farmers’ markets. Artisan bread, cheese, whisky. And no, whisky’s not just for dinner anymore.

These are the Good Times. Altho … I heard Trix and Cap’n Crunch are taking out their artificial additives too. These are the cereals of my youth. I can still conjure up the chemical taste of Cap’n Crunch. Without those additives, all you got is the box, okay maybe if you dissolve it in milk. Course, it’s undoubtedly got dioxin from the paper milling process. All I know is there’s gonna be a lot of hungry kids in this additive-free world.

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