EGOTOPIA
Some of the Hotheads down at the Diner have been talking about seceding. We’ve always heard talk of Camano seceding from Whidbey, but some of these Firebrands are advocating something more than that. They want to make the South End a sovereign entity, sort of Freedom County South. Dig a canal from Elger Bay over to the east side, put up a gate and make our own island.
I admit at first I thought they were loony tunes, something out of a Jack Gunter movie, but I been thinking about it lately and I wonder if they’re not onto something.
Sure, the taxbase would be smaller. At least til Tyee Grocery gets its WalMart permit approved and the CostCo comes in right behind. Course we could charge tolls at the canal bridge to pay for essential services. Like the South End String Band. And all these valuable artists. After all, what would the South End be without its endangered wildlife? We could name ourselves what my old professor down at the Elger Bay Institute of Aesthetic Enlargement has always suggested: EGOTOPIA, a paradise for free spirits, fine artists, bohemians, tax dodgers, scofflaws, tree huggers, paganists, banjo players and xenophobes. Basically what we got now.
Working’ll disappear. Traffic congestion’ll go away since nobody’ll have jobs or money. SUV’s will rust and we’ll make art projects out of the corroded carcasses. Eveybody’ll be king of nothing.
If it gets too crowded, we’ll annex Hat Island and impose our more spiritual way of life on them. Operation Liberate Hat Island, we’ll call it. Make us an archipelago of anarchic artistic license. Bring em the news. Teach em the fine arts: macrame and mailbox decorating, stained glass and popsickle stick twirlers. You live in harmony with nature and your enlarged ego, the way we do, you’ll realize pretty quick government isn’t really necessary. Course in a few months, it’ll probably look like Rwanda.
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