christmas yule log
Call me old fashioned. Call me Scrooge. Call me late for dinner. Christmas rolled in this last year and one of the TV stations– AS A Public Service – ran a four hour broadcast of a fire. In a fireplace. A Yule Log fire. Run it while the family’s opening the Toys-R-Us packages, the CostCo presents, the Wal-Mart Roll Back Them Prices Made-in-China presents.
Run it Commercial Free!! Four hours.
Now I KNOW the world’s changing. And I KNOW this year you can buy that same Commercial Free Public Service, Phony Baloney, Fire in a Phony Baloney Fireplace, Yule Log DVD, WITH editor’s cuts, logger’s commentary and a special at the end of complete descriptions of the kind of wood burned, the treebefore it got cut down, the make of the chainsaw that cut it, the trucker’s name that hauled it, all for 9.99.
Down at the sad old South End – this is gonna come as a shock and next year the EPA’ll step in, you know it, we’re so behind the times, so pathetic, so lacking in modernity, we still throw REAL logs on real fireplaces.
I’ve been thinking maybe we ought to quit polluting the neighborhood. You burn those artificial trees, you’ll be doing more harm than good. Nasty fumes. Weird metallic smells.
What do I know???? Paper or plastic? They always ask me at the downtown grocery. I always think they mean money or credit. It’s too damn complicated a world. But I do know the difference between a real fire and one on TV. Even if it is commercial free ….
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