south end theory of relativity
If you was to look at the South End on a map, it would look like a gooeyduck that had basked a little too long on the beach. Or like myself BEFORE the miracle of Viagra. There just isn’t a lot of blood flow down here.
I suppose that explains why the Pace of Life here is a little slower than you all’s. Stanwood’s gotten so all-fired Accelerated – being a Hub and all – they finally had to install stoplights just to put the skids on a mite. I believe you could cram a whole afternoon on the South End into a Stanwood minute.
No, if it’s one thing we got a bumper crop of, it’s Time. Time on our hands, time on our shoes, time on our side. We watch the bread rise, the berries ripen, the orchards mature, the grass grow, the kids turn juvenile delinquent, the homebrew mellow, the hound dog and myself here getting lazier with every passing year. That old chestnut about stopping to smell the roses…? On the South End we’d have to speed it up a few miles an hour to catch a whiff.
You may not believe it, but Mr. Einstein must’ve had kinfolk on the South End cause he explained scientifically what we know in our bones — time is relative. Hellfire, I had a shirttail cousin come to visit Ma and me awhile back, brought the whole kit and kaboodle, dogs, brats, tee-totalling wife, stayed a week. I’m telling you when that week was over, me and the mizzus was two YEARS closer to the Pioneer Cemetery.
People say Mr. Einstein was a genius. I say he had some bad relatives himself.
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