Decision 2012
SOUTH END COMMISSIONER CANDIDATE POSITION STATEMENTS
Bubba Frisk Jr. JOB CREATION PARTY
Our current tourism ad slogan might as well be ‘the place to do nothing’ . Sadly, it’s not just for tourists; it’s for all the unemployed we have down at the South End. If I’m elected, my first executive order will be to jumpstart the Mother of All Tourist Promotions centered around our own HomeBoy: the Barefoot Burglar, the Camano Kid, the Flying Filcher, our very own international anti-hero. The movies are being shot, the books are being written, the documentaries are being edited, the mom has hired an entertainment lawyer, the deals are being made! Rolling Stone has declared Camano officially the Cape Cod of the Pacific Northwest. And we still want to be the place that does nada? Maybe the Chamber …. But the rest of us are ready to roll! Tour buses, T-shirts, coffee mugs, souvenir shops: we’re ready to cash in. Camano, the island to do nothing? We don’t need a new slogan, we need a new NAME. Colton Island. Nice ring to it. And how do you get to Colton Island? Bingo! Get off the hammock and call your commissioner today!
[Paid for by the Colton Harris- Moore Bridge Committee]
Tweeter Daddle 47% PARTY
My father Skeeter Daddle was the perennial candidate for the position of South End Commissioner. I know there will be folks who accuse me of riding his infamous coat-tails. Course, Dad never won a single election so only a damn fool would ride those tails. And believe me, I’m nobody’s fool but my own.
If elected, I promise my fellow 47%’ers that we will grow the county government until WE become the 53%. Once we have the majority vote we’ll give our disadvantaged business sector a fiscal injection of county corporate welfare, B&O tax breaks and nettle subsidies so that we can compete against Whidbey markets. Together we’ll make Government work FOR us …. so we won’t have to!! Thank you for your vote. “Two chickens in every pot, a little pot in every chicken.”
Sarah Doolittle DO NOTHING PARTY
We all know County Government has done nothing to bring jobs to the South End. Instead it has encouraged a debilitating, work-sapping ethic of entitlement to the region, one where able-bodied people prefer the sad sack life of a Lay-About over good minimum wage jobs.
When I take office, I will raise cable TV fees so that the indolent will be forced to work to pay for their government induced slothfulness. And that includes the retirees as well! We need to put the South End back to work.
We all know Government is the real problem. Not just Big government, but Little government too. That’s why I’m running for a government position. As your next South End Commissioner I will WORK to eliminate unnecessary programs and agencies. Government jobs are phony jobs. Let’s get back to the Business of Island County. Government should not be Job Creators. I promise to be a Job Killer where county jobs are concerned. You have my promise…
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