Bible School at the Diner
Before Anita got fed up with their hours-long studies at the Diner, the Bible Boyz would argue scripture over their one coffee and multiple refills, taking up table space for paying customers and driving away others like myself who wearied of parsing psalms and bickering over prophesies. When she finally cast them out into the wilderness, they called her Jezebel and probably much worse out of earshot, but I thanked her when I heard the café had been returned to its pre-righteous clientele of park tourists, vintage car guyz and the rest of us heathens searching for a fairly quiet ‘hair of the dog’ morning.
“What was the straw that broke the Bible’s back?” I asked late in a slow morning and she’d joined me with a cup of coffee of her own. She blew a strand of lightly greying hair out of her eyes, looking around for eavesdroppers first, then leaned in closer. “I kinda lost it when Pastor Paul asked for his 50th refill. He says to me, get this!, he says I really had no business as a woman — as a woman!” Her voice was way beyond its original whisper. “ I had no business, as a woman, running a business. I should be having kids, staying at home, taking care of a husband and family. You believe this man?”
“Um,” I said, looking around at a few customers now myself. “Sounds about par from these folks.”
“About par?” she practically hollered. “About par?? That’s the whole point, Skeeter, they’re always right. They got the news. They got God on their side! But you know what kills me, they would sit here for hours arguing this, arguing that, what this meant, what that might mean, god almighty, and they think they know what’s what?”
“But what got me, Skeeter, was when that pompous pastor suggested I come to his Sunday service, maybe find a husband there, you never know, make an honest woman of me. An honest woman. That just frosted my ass.”
She sat back, took a long slow sip of coffee, then smiled beatifically. “That’s when I banished them, the whole self-righteous flock. No shoes, no soul, no service. Out! Get out!”
I laughed and Anita did too. I guess Pastor Paul hadn’t gotten the news that Anita was gay. If he had, maybe they’d never have used the Diner for their Biblical studies in the first place. Or they’d have come with pitchforks to replace the cutlery….
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Tags: Banishment from the Diner, Biblical Studies at the South End Diner, Breakfast with the Bible Boyz