Real Estate Sales by Phone

I got a call today and yeah, I know, who the hell picks up a phone these days, especially when you don’t have caller ID, but okay, I picked up.  Hello? Hello?  I usually wait a few seconds before hanging up, but this time I was expecting a call from the mizzus so I gave it a few seconds longer.  Finally this low volume, sad sack lethargic voice comes on the line, Hi, I’m Sam, do you want to sell your place?  Occasionally I like to stay with these calls, see where they lead, maybe learn some skillsets I can use to market my own stuff.  Sam, I admit, didn’t seem promising for sales techniques.

I said sure, I’m dying to sell the place, what you offering?  Sam, a little delayed in his response, finally asked if I had a price in mind.  Sure do, I said, but I’d rather hear your offer.  Long pause.  Real long pause.  I said, hey Sam, buddy, you still with me here?  You awake or should I call 9-1-1 for that overdose antidote for fentanyl.  Maybe give me your address.  Sam eventually returned to the semi-living, wondered how much I might want to sell my hacienda and land.  How about 2 million dollars, Sammy, how’s that work for you?  You know where I live, what the place looks like, or is this a cold call?

Sam, no last name, just Sam, seemed to be pondering this.  Finally, wearying of the fun, I said, hey, Sam, wake up, you need to up your game a little, show some enthusiasm if you want to scam the unwary, you can’t be drifting off into your own ozone between dialogues.  And here’s another suggestion: lay off the drugs or at least tweak the meds down a bit, you’re scaring us potential clientele.

Whether Sam was with me on the last minute of his sales pitch, who could tell?  All I know is I missed a great opportunity to make two million dollars.  Maybe the next call….

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